So, What Else???

I am irritated with a few things happening online and I want some serious suggestions. I have become a victim of this ‘What Else.’

How Do I handle the “What Else” Discussions?

Have we noticed what is happening these days in the online world. We people are all isolated. People with families, without families are all online. If there is a need they are online and if there is no need then also they are online. People are addicted to the internet.

I heard a very famous saying- I started not wasting time, I stopped being on the internet. It is so true.

Now what is happening?

If you are single you are done with office work and then you get bored and then you come online to surf the net or chat.

If you are with a family then you have either had a fight with mom or dad or husband or wife and you are online. Some of us work online and some of us waste time online, better known as time pass. When you do time pass (read, waste time) you tend to ping people online or go to Facebook or Orkut.

Now let us see a typical pinging scenario on G Talk.

Ash: Hi Sush, how are you?

Sush: Hi Ash, I am good how are you?

Ash: How is life going?

Sush: All good, how is life at your end?

Ash: All good, so what else?

Sush: nothing.

Ash: Had food?

Sush: yes

Ash: what plans for weekend?

Sush: Did not think so far

Ash: so whats new in life?

Sush: nothing the same old life is going on

Ash: hmm, so what else?

Sush: nothing

Ash: so, how is life going?

Sush: all good

Ash: so, what else?

Gosh!!! Now, this is how I see girls interacting and this is surprising me. The best part is you will find Ash pinging Sush daily and discussing the same thing. How can you go on and on on something which does not exist at all? How is Sush to react on this? Can she go on with this endless loop?

I see such things happening often to me and believe me this is frustrating me these days. I am on G talk the whole day but that does not mean that I don’t have work. I am online as I like being online but that does not mean I am not working.

Now, why do people ping each other.

First, they are free and do not know what to do with their time. For them, you need to remember that all are not free. Though we all chat many of us are in corporates which pay us to work.

Second, they are bored, which is a genuine problem as we cannot work the whole day. Yes, we can ping each other to take a break but let us make sure we really have something to talk and also the other person whom we have pinged is in a position to talk. Let us not try to play this ‘what else’ game. I, at times need a break in office and I tend to ping people on my G talk but I make sure I talk something with them. i.e, I have a topic to discuss, the topic can be anything- my boss, my friend’s marriage, my mother’s ill health, my friend’s pregnancy, Obama’s presidency or the cuteness of Abhishek Bachchan. And, if there is no topic to discuss then make sure you ask ‘how are you?’ get the answer and leave the person. These things like ‘what else’ ‘what else’ does not work with me somehow. Also, if I find someone else online it does not mean that the person is also in a mood to talk and also has the time to talk.

Also, whom do I ping when I am bored? This depends on my relation with that person.

I can ping my boy friend anytime and everytime. I can do so with my best friend also. With good friends I need to draw a line. I cant ping good friends daily. Yes, if my good friend has a funny status message I can surely afford to comment on the status message and leave it there. I cant then just go on and on with what else. With social acquaintances I think we need to make sure that we maintain limits.

When to ping, how often to ping should be thought about. People say- why do you want to think so much with friends. So, here is my answer. Not everyone in my G talk is my friend. ‘Friend’ term is the next most misused word after ‘Sorry.’ Again who is a friend and who is not is an extremely sensitive topic. Often we term social acquaintances also as friends. And I am not sure how right or wrong this is. And I seriously get irritated with these social contacts try to get pally with me with ‘what else.’ I would prefer social acquaintances remaining as social acquaintances.

Once someone told me that you must be in touch with people so you need to talk. Yes, this is important, we need to be in touch with our friends else we feel isolated. But I think for this we need to have a restriction which goes back to friends and social acquaintances.

I am online now but I am blogging and I would really not want to talk to someone now. But yes my G talk status message is in green. If some friend of mine pings me now I am going to talk to him or her depending on 1) who has pinged( yes best friend is welcome now) 2) the topic that needs to be discussed. I am in no mood to shoot those 'how are yous.'

Third, people genuinely/desperately want to make friendship. For them I would really say that friendship happens on its own. I have seen many guys sending invites to girls and the girls accepting the invite and then the guy is forcing himself to talk to her with this what else game. Believe me friendship does not happen like this. You ping, she responds and then somehow for people who are destined to be good friends some topic of interest crops up and they chat where both participate. When you see yourself asking ‘what else’ trust me the friendship will not last for anything more than a few pings and a few days.

I fail to understand why people drag. Once you realize that there is nothing to talk why people can’t just stop chatting.

Yesterday I was online and I was reading Economic Times. Yes, I can read that later also. Online news can be read anytime. I got a ping. It went on for 45 seconds and then I noticed that we had nothing to talk as we had finished all that – how are you, how is aunty, how is life etc. It was visible that we don’t have any topic to discuss and then I finally noticed that theperson says, so what else. I said nothing. And then that person says- what plans for weekend. I said – no plan, bas at home. Then that person says – don’t you get bored at home. I did not answer. Then that person says -???. So it looked like that person could not understand my silence. I said –no. And then some more blah blah and blah. I realized that the conversation was just getting dragged with no participation from my end. I did not talk as I had nothing to talk. I find it hard to drag.

For people who are wasting time or pinging for time pass I don’t know what to say. I would say that such people need to make sure that they ping the right people.

I have seen many people who ping me when I am doing some surfing online. I respond to them keeping 2 things in mind. 1) my interest in them and the topic they have pinged me with and 2) what I am doing currently. If I am doing something important I might not want to get interrupted but yes what I am doing need not be very important as if my father pings me I might stop my work and decide to talk to my dad. So, I think responding, not responding etc depends on one my relation with that person and two the task I am doing when that person pinged. Also, assume A pings B and C also pings B. B likes talking to C and does not enjoy the company of A. It is highly likely that B will respond to C enthusiastically and B will try to avoid A or give one word answers to A.

Pinging people randomly might be thoughtful as ‘what else’ is not something which people like me are comfortable with.